stezie's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Lockdown [Short flash!]]

Reasonable first submission

First things first - Congratulations on your first flash! It takes a lot of balls to jump into flash like this, but, of course first pieces are never perfect.

Here's the reviewer's dilemma: review a masterpiece flash, and you're just going to be nitpicking. Review a beginner flash, and you'll just be pointing out the obvious. Shoot me, but I'll be pointing out the obvious - but I'll be doing more of a bread and butter review; going through all the different elements of the flash.

Artwork - Alright, the art IS there. But the art is something I'd expect from a beginner flash: you've used other tools to represent things you want because of your lack of skill in some areas. I'm talking about the entire opening scene (minus potplant) along with the clock/alarm and the backgrounds. As you develop your art style and skill, you should be trying to expand yourself to more than just characters (more on them in a sec), and attempt to draw the scenery yourself so that you have a consistent art style.

- Character Art: There's potential here. At least these were drawn by you, and not using preset flash shapes and effects. But you can tell a beginner flash from anything else by the use of the classic flash brushes and fill bucket colours. A quick shading never hurt anyone (so long as it's not with gradient effect XD).

Animation - Same with artwork: you've used tools apart from your own skill to be able to represent what you've wanted to: morph effects, transition effects (I'm no animator, I don't know the technical terms). But I know that so long as you keep working on frame-by-frame, or by using these tools to achieve smoother results, you'll soon find ways to better animate the stuff you need to.

Music/Sound - Some very good choices in music! The opening music really set the mood. But, some of the later music was awkwardly tacked on, and didn't feel like it was adding anything to the piece. On a side note, the sound effects were appropriate, if anything.

Story/Concept - Sure, this is a rushed story, I understand that. But you'll have to be working on how to better represent and integrate the story or concept in the piece. I don't really know how you can do this, but the audience should be able to draw the concept straight from the piece itself, without needing to consult a tacked on conclusion. The roles of both characters were instantly created in the opening moments, and these characters fitted their moulds straight to the end, so was the "conclusion" really necessary?

Overall:
Artwork (1/2) - Expand your style: From character art to more complexity, and from static backgrounds to what you use with your characters.

Animation (1/2) - I can't say anything, but keep working, and try to stay away from flash's default effects.

Music (1/2) - Okay, I was just a bit nitpicky there, but I can just hear the difference between well integrated music and tacked on music. Music selection should be a rigorous task.

Story/Concept (0/2) - Whether you develop a story or a concept, the underlying message should come through the piece, rather than a coda.

With one extra point for a first flash... 4/10
Hey, shoot me. Take on board what I've said, and you can only get better from here.

Wavingkitties responds:

Hey thanks, this really helps me out. I shall keep this in mind when making my new animations. I shall rush it less and make up a good story. Also, I'll use more frame-by-frame drawing, instead of motion tweens. [that's the term, hehe.] The music was indeed pretty hard, gotta work on that some more...

[Interrogation]

Better luck next time

First and foremost, congratulations on having a crack at flash, it takes real balls to have a shot but let's be honest, the quality of this flash is rather horrible. Here's some pointers for next time.

My Criticisms:
Artwork - It's simplistic, but not in a good way. Firstly, the figure's head is extremely disproportionate; giant eyes, square pupils, awkward mouth but the pièce de résistance of this array must be the chunks of head lost between hairs. If you had paid more attention, this mistake would've been fixed quickly. However, it looks like you can actually draw to some degree; the figure's torso looks perfectly fine to me apart from the lack of shading concerning the hoodie. The laziness you have shown comes through in every single other aspect of this flash as follows.

Animation - This is crucial to any flash movie, and any animator should take due care in this area. Animating the eyes and mouth only doesn't help your already lackluster art. Also, I did not like the single viewpoint, it convoluted the story.

Story - From what I made out the story follows the interrogation of a murderer who is very childlike in character and cannot comprehend the current situation, infuriating the interrogator. It looks great in words like those, but it was not executed in the best possible manner. Only through the sound could I tell the interrogator was leaving, because there was no other viewpoint to see him actually walk away, which on your part is plain lazy and without animation to tell the story, only the sound could.

Sound/Voice - I'm pretty sure that the murderer figure is a male, so why does "his" voice sound like that of a 5 year old girl? Being a guy yourself, you could have done both voices yourself. Also, the low quality of sound, mixed with the very high voice of your sister (I'm assuming that it's your sister) heavily convoluted the story as I could not hear much of her lines. And on top of all that, the microphone created irregularities in the sound, between the segments of speech, there was an eerie silence - a lack of the crinkly noise created by the microphone. Uniformity of sound would've helped. A further note, when working with microphones, don't hit them against anything or fumble around with them, it picks up those noises which were probably not necessary to the story.

Overall
Your pride probably got the better of you here: "it is my flash, so I don't give a shit what people think, I had fun". If, perchance, these words, or similar, passed your mind before submitting, it really wouldn't have hurt to critique your own flash and fix it up before submitting it to the public. Also, don't forget that practice makes perfect; keep at improving each of these factors individually and eventually you may create something spectacular.

bloodclots99 responds:

Ok, listen, i understand what your saying, and i looked at your account saying you want to do reviews, but honestly, that was a bit harsh on my part considering this is the first flash animation ive actually really tried on. No this was not laziness. have you ever thought that my pov was actually intentional? no? you seem to be blaming all the problems on me, like the face which was intentional, the disproportion was part of his character, and my sister asked if she could help, cause im a nice person. My animation was not "awful". I dont think you should criticize others videos if you dont even have your own. And you said my Lackluster art? so im a terrible artist now because i decided not to animate anything else? this animation was based upon the sound, you werent supposed to see the interrogator. Your reviews are too strict, and your standards are too high, if you want to review, then you have to have done something better, but i dont see anything good about your animations, yet you dont have any.